Tragic news today reported in
a hard-hitting Onion exclusive. A teenage girl, capable only of texting and rolling her eyes sarcastically has been declared legally brain-dead, and will be euthanized by her parents. Using this case as precedent, bodies are sure to be stacking up, judging by what I see on the subway every day.
More » 
Source: http://feeds.gawker.com/~r/gizmodo/full/~3/xfL9T_hdhbg/teen-capable-only-of-texting-to-be-euthanized-reports-the-onion
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